It’s Always Tough To Start, Or Is It?

Happy New Year! As the first week of 2014 comes to a close, I chose today to get my blog up. I’ve committed to a minimum of 52 posts. That’s a lot for commitment-phobic, procrastinator me. Maybe equivalent to running a 5k or cleaning out the garage for some people. 

2013 was intense, draining, dramatic, and uncomfortable on many levels. I lost my 82- year old mother to renal failure, my “boyfriend” of 4 years, who is married, finally told his wife about me (well, she found out), and it may be the worst or best thing that has happened, I quit my marketing job right before the holidays and it’s been super tight for me and my two kids financially, I’ve been somewhat depressed and lethargic for the last few weeks and only want to sleep. Yep, I’d say today is a good day to start over, or at least make a plan to reinvent. The word change is so overused and it reminds of that something wrong is needing to be fixed. I prefer the word reinvent because it gives way to possibility without being attached to changing something that is not working.

There are some big things I want to create this year. Things that are bigger than my whole life, things I’ve never taken on before. I am making myself my biggest project. There is fear attached to my quest. I’m not even sure where my courage will come from. I just know that I am prepared to make a plan and follow through by remaining in action. 

As I write this, I feel a reluctance to share the specifics. My natural instinct is to put it off and just stop writing here. Baby steps. This is a sorry post on many levels. Even I can see that, but it’s a lot for me. Just this little step encourages me to write again. It’s one of the biggest things I’ve done today. If I force any more, I know I will be disingenuous. Thanks for visiting, and I hope your first week of 2014 has encouraged you to take on something meaningful too, even if you don’t know what it will look like now. 

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